Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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