Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
