I hate your face
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Send help, water and tortillas.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Dear god my vagina.
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