cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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