a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize