you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
