It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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