Pregnant stripper...not hot.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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