Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
