Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
