i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
