I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
