Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
