I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
