I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
