haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
