i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
