win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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