OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
