I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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