if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
