you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Randomize