My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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