she was so not down for the gang bang
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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