is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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