Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
