Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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