well I can't set my house on fire every night
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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