i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
