Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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