Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
