she woke up with a sticky ear
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
