if you like me you must not know who I am
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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