Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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