my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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