My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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