i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
