Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Oh god it's open bar.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
