Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
