What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
