So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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