boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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