I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize