There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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