i just had sex bonerless
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
