Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
