I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Four minutes until I can fart!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize