please come you make the beer taste better
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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