Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
i out mim tonsoeep
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
