So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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