what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
