so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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