He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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