HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
