How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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