Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
