If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
