So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
