hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
