She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
