I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
